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Try EmiGrate!

Tired of all these hours spent in Dutch trains that are yellow?*
Fed and fattened up by your local station's fast food for dinner?
Do all those 'social' beers start to take their toll?
Do you need a month to catch up on sleeping?

NOW you can stop worrying.
You can start relaxing.
It is easy as 1-2-3:
Try EmiGrate!

It only takes a couple of months,
you needn't hassle at all**,
and it's GUARANTEED to provoke absolutely no stress whatsoever***

Once you've tried EmiGrate you will enjoy the gifts of a new, healthy, fruitful and postdoctoral life. You will learn to cook healthy, wholesome, and organic meals with only limited effort. You will discover the joys of couches combined with those of TV's. You will get your well-deserved 8 hours of rest on our special massaging bed featuring 10 special-purpose springs that apply pressure on your back at crucial places. You will learn to concentrate your beer-drinking-activities on a limited number of occasions. You will enjoy walks in the well-known Scottish sun combined with short rides on our special bus-with-a-view that is white*.

Hesitate no more! Try EmiGrate! 

*this is an inside Donders-joke. The author apologizes to any who might feel left out of the fun.
** provided you have your personal assistanna.
*** disclaimer: bundling of deadlines and other trips abroad can have detrimental effects on the stress-levels prevented by EmiGrate. Guarantee does not apply.

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