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Settling in

- Hi, I would like to buy a smartphone.
- Do you have a contract with us?
- No. I just moved here from the Netherlands.
- I'm sorry but then we can't give you a contract. You have no credit history you see.
- So can I buy the phone and get a pay as you go?
- No, they are only sold on contracts.


- Hi, I would like to buy a smartphone.
- Do you have a bank account?
- No. I just moved here from the Netherlands.
- If you don't have a bank account, we cannot give you a contract.

- Hi, I would like to open a bank account.
- There are no banking advisors in just now, can I book an appointment for you?
- When would that be?
- Next week.


- Hi, I would like to open a bank account.
- Do you have an account with us?
- No, I just moved here from the Netherlands.
- So you have been living here less than three years?
- Yes, as a matter of fact I have been living here less than a week.
- We can only give you an account after you have lived in the UK for three years. You have no credit history you see.

- Hi, I would like to open a bank account.
- Do you have an account with us?
- No, I just moved here from the Netherlands.
- Ok, then we can give you a basic bank account.
- What's basic?
- You can deposit and withdraw money, but there are no credit facilities. No credit card, no debit card. Just a card with which you can withdraw money from ATM's. 
- So I would not be able to pay in stores?
- No.

- Hi, I would like to open a bank account.
- Do you have an account with us?
- No, I just moved here from the Netherlands.
- Ok, we can give you a bank account, but we need proof of address.
- I have a declaration from my employer, the University. Does that count?
- No, we would need a utility bill or a proof that you have been paying tax.
- Yes, but I just arrived and am staying at a temporary address. To get a permanent address in fact I need a bank account.
- I'm sorry, but we cannot be flexible on the proof of address. 

****

- Hi, I have an appointment for opening a bank account.
- Ok, come on in.



Comments

Unknown said…
I love the fact they have the same bureaucratic loops. 'No bank account with no permanent address, no permanent address without a bank account'. Sometimes lying seems to be the only solution (officially i never left the country while studying overseas). Good luck with this one!
wieteke said…
hihi, (bijna?) erger dan in nederland!

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