Skip to main content

Pregnant. Single. Pringle.

I put the stick down and prepare for a very long three minutes.  But it's already there.

´Pregnant 3+'

I had bought the test while simultaneously laughing at myself for my paranoia. Not so paranoid after all, but ... still laughing. I smile all through the shower. I smile all the way to work. I smile when I drop the bomb on a friend. It's a shocked smile, a not-yet-quite-believing smile,  but a smile. I'm having a baby.

Used to Scotland, the doctor tactfully asks: 'Is that good news or bad news?' 'Unexpected news.'

My parents don't even bother with initial shock and go straight to happy. They'll make great grandparents and they can't wait.

My friends and family are great friends and family. Touching messages with congratulations and compliments. So many compliments in fact, I get to blush a lot.

But there are questions too, of course. And assumptions. That I didn´t pay enough attention in sex-ed.That it was a hard decision. That I kept it because I'm approaching thirty and perennially single. That I kept it because I'm approaching thirty and felt a duty to take responsibility for my actions. That I kept it because of those pesky hormones taking over my brain. That I spend my days hoping the father changes his mind. That the father is an asshole.

Strangers and acquaintances also make assumptions. That I have a partner. That the discovery that I don't necessitates the immediate production of a commiserating expression. That the father will, of course, change his mind.

It's 2011 and I did nothing wrong. A series of events with a calculated chance of 5 in a million of getting me pregnant got me pregnant (where's the lottery?). The rational explanation of my subsequent decision exists, but it's misleading: it was post-hoc confabulation about an image that smiled me all the way through the shower.

It's 2011 and I'm having a baby.

And it's 2011 and the father gets to make his own decision on whether he's having the baby too.


It´s 2011 and I´m a Pringle!

Comments

wieteke said…
en ik ben een profr! een proud friend! :) kuss
Cecilia said…
en ik ben een proma (proma can be interpreted as a proud mamma and proud oma, both of which I am!) Ciao!

Popular posts from this blog

Glasgow. De tiener die je wilt versieren.

Sauchiehall street op zaterdagnacht om 3:00 is een 21 ste eeuwse versie van een schilderij van Breughel. Een krioelende massa laat tieners en vroeg twintigers die hoe langer je kijkt hoe meer spektakel biedt. De clubs waar de straat van barst zijn net gesloten en hebben hun inhoud over straat uitgespuugd. Links volgt iemand het voorbeeld, maar dan met de inhoud van zijn maag. Rechts staat een stelletje uitgebreid een voorspel te bedrijven. Waar je ook kijkt zijn meisjes in strakke, glitterende, glimmende, kleurrijke, en vooral korte, jurkjes. Schotse meisjes, dus de jurkjes zijn rijkelijk voorzien van randjes vet waar het jurkje niet op bedacht was. Hun nepwimpers zijn te zwaar geworden voor hun oogleden en hangen dus halfstok. In hun handen hebben de meisjes hun schoenen – het gebruikelijke voortstrompelen op metershoge hakken is op dit late alcoholgehalte teveel gevraagd. Blootsvoets zwalken de meisjes verder, hangend aan de schouders, of de tong, van al niet stabieler ogende jongen...

Ultrasound

- You need to pull your trousers down. Further down. And take that belt off. Big belts are very incovenient. And jeans... you'd think no one would want to wear these things! I unbuckle the belt and pull the offending jeans down a bit. The squirt of cold jelly duly follows as does the ultrasound probe. The baby doesn't feel like humouring us with a photogenic position, so the obstetrician focuses on its head for some measurements. The brain! I can see the corpus callosum, ventricles... and wish I could have a better look. - Can I have a picture? - No, that's illegal. - But I'm a brain scientist, I would really like to have one of the brain as well! - You'll learn to separate your professional interest from your motherly feelings. You should consider yourself lucky that you're even getting three pictures. I'm only allowed to give one. That's one picture plus two fuzzy attempts at getting a good position. - What are we looking at now? How big...