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La Famiglia

But there was more to the holiday. Due to my emigration it was an even bigger family reunion: not just with the Italian family living in Italy but now also with my Italian family living in the Netherlands.

Relaxation step one consisted of a one week sailing cruise doubling as a one week feminization training of my father (captain of an all-female crew), whose pre-training baseline included starting the week by wearing a faded yellow shirt with holes in it to my mother's birthday dinner, and whose post-test consisted of him telling me that blow-drying every day was bad for my hair.

Step two was the reunion with the rest of the family, starting with my grandmother's 84th birthday, attended by more or less the whole family, plus one new entry who must have gone deaf.

My 14-year old cousin made the unfortunate mistake of asking our aunt what 'Did you do it on purpose?' meant in English, and paid for it by confessing to his 28 suddenly silent family members this was a new female Dutch acquaintance's question about their first encounter involving a stray ball.


The not-so-kinky lingerie/PhD-present an aunt discreetly handed me was all but passed round the table. 


And yet, the next night beat it. A (for our standards) very regular dinner gained a sparkle when an aunt came down with her husband, who started encouraging her to sing, camera in hand. Though (or because) she is notoriously out of key, the gathered family members encouraged  her along, helping out only with the occasional cowardly chorus.

When the singing subsided it was time for serious stuff. Such as discussions on religion, the church, the church's influence on Italian politics and society, which prominent Italians we wished a heart attack upon (a seemingly easy wish as all prominent Italians are septuagenarian men), and also on who would have pulled the trigger on Hitler given the opportunity. All of it under slight tension due to our roughly even distribution of devout Catholics, devout atheists, and everything in between.

Luckily, when things got too heavy, there was always my aunt who decided it was time for a musical intermezzo and burst out singing. The cowardly choruses duly followed. What a family. Or a musical.

Comments

Unknown said…
This was funny. I always feared what my daughter will think about the crazy italian family she's got... is like traveling in the future i suppose. Especially for the comments on atheism, septuagenarians and the like.

A big hup from your fan Fredd

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